i'm going to be whoever the fuck i want to bei'm going to be friends with whoever i deem fit
and none of you are allowed to say any shit about it.
i wanted to write something, but i just can't remember what. oh well, then that's that. i guess the old brain juice died when studying for prelims.
oh but i found out something really cool about myself. when i listen to a song and study something, i'll remember the song during the exam and as i sing the song in my head, i remember all my facts! AWESOME SHIZZ YO.
oh yeah, i just remembered what i wanted to type here. you know that bloody rude tag on my cbox? yeah i took quite a bit of offence to that for more reasons than one. i mean what do you mean "even for someone like you"? is that supposed to tell me that there's some kinda of stigma that's been attached to me? am i supposed to be that awesomely deep person who can talk about major discussion topics with people all the time? i'm sorry to disappoint you.
maybe in the past i tried too hard to be that kind of person, you know, to be someone people can see and say "whoa, he's matured way past his age" and i'd feel really good about myself after that. but i'm just a kid. just that fat kid who goes to school everyday and experiences the same stresses that everyone else goes through. perhaps you may find me abnormal. it's okay, i think i'm pretty weird a lot of the time too. but that's just me.
on a random note, i have no idea what i just typed up there. it probably doesn't make sense? and my english dies when i come online for some reason. oh well. english prelims are over. so i won't need to worry about writing for a while.
signing off,
glen kilian koh
haha omg they mention singapore in Legally Blonde - The Musical!
"an act prohibited by law like jaywalking or chewing gum in singapore!"
HAHAHAHAHA.
don't ask me why i'm watching it. but i am and it's so damn funny!
I'm consistently surprised by the big man upstairs. today was no different.
this morning i woke up as per usual and did the daily routine, as i was getting ready to leave the house to meet Keith at KAP, i noticed that my rosary ring and my necklace with my silver cross on my table. I haven't worn them in months and so i suddenly had the urge to wear them today.
that's where all the fun starts.
So I met Keith and had breakfast before we met up with everyone else at CJC for the ELL symposium. which by the way, was extremely interesting and really captured my interest. If i go to CJC, that'll definitely be my choice for a subject. but the real beauty of today was after the talk.
I finally had the chance to catch up with Kevin after so long. that was awesome. went to Pizza Hut in Toa Payoh with a bunch of the SJI guys + Kevin and then rode back with Kevin. Talking to Kevin, it really made me realise how much i've been holding myself back from expressing myself lately. I kept telling myself not to be a burden for someone else to the extent that i completely forgot to express myself altogether.
Walking back home from the bus stop, i began thinking about how i don't exactly have that "best" friend. Someone i know i can always count on and be able to do whatever lame thing with. and just then i heard someone shout my name from above. Turns out that it was Nathanael who was at the carpark rooftop asking me to help him get a shuttlecock. He was here to have bonding time with his cell group. like whoa, Nat's a cell group leader. haha. well, for those who've known Nat and I since Primary school, you'd know that Nat and I were Best Friends from P3-P5.
So remember when i said i was saying i haven't exactly had a real conversation about my life with anyone lately? I had the conversation of a lifetime with Nat on the rooftop. yeah, my bladder was bursting while i stood there with him, but it didn't seem to matter because that conversation was so... what's the word i'm looking for... powerful? We caught up 5 years of lost friendship and started on a clean slate. That was great.
Yeah i realise it's not that clear a story, but it's been truly a wonderful and emotional day. Walking back home from the carpark, i was literally smiling to myself saying "God, you really love to play with me don't you.".
I've realised that God always seems to find the perfect ways to bring me back to see his glory whenever i begin to feel spiritually weakened. He ALWAYS seems to find a way to make me believe again. I truly believe today was no little coincedence. I truly believe it was planned to coincide with my doubts and tribulations.
But most importantly for me, today i received the closure and the apology that i've waited for for 5 years. it was truly, renewing. and now, i have my best friend again. Let's hope this will last.
signing off,
julian hallems
