i wanna label this post as mmmmmmmooooo. because the 'm' key on vic's laptop came out. so all that's there is a sad little red dot. like singapore.mmmmmmmmmmm
mmmmm
lols. she just fixed it. everyone go MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
while i go and pluck it out again. hang on.7O,;ZPBON98AP0J[-HUI82QK
k,,mjnhom vn b 7,yjgu kyx87b6za; p.NNB\MK,L,POJ7JXZP.KJMP[-099O
ok. now you see all that bullshit? tsk. tsk. tsk.
such a catfight.
and vic, guys post so short because we're all too danged lazy to type anymore. DUHHHHH. it's like so obvious. oh and beatrice is a guy.
i just wanna say.
i actually have feelings here.
screw you all.
haha like i just told Isaac.
i needa find a way to delete all the posts on this blog whilst keeping it.
like i said like, in the beginning of the month?
i needa get rid of this commercial bullshit!
urgh. change is needed.
thank god that the photos are gonna take a while so i actually have a chance to sit here and blog a bit. i'm in the artroom and the teacher's currently out for phototaking with the guitar ensemble. so yeah.
you know, no one should view my blog on internet explorer. because it looks so much uglier on IE. Firefox is the way to go man!
well. i'll leave this post to get longer later. ciao.
signing off,
julian hallemswait till 10pm tonight? maybe?
now as i post this, i have about one hour left to my MC.
thank god i'm finally going to be getting out of the house at last!
72 straight hours of being stuck in the confinements of my house and i'm gonna be free soon! well, then i'm going back to the prison that is school life, but heck, at least in school there's friends.
good news, BD has agreed to be my model for art! whoo! and Kenneth Goh too! whoo. now i just need to find hmm.... 2 young adults and 1 adult. maybe i'll try asking Michelle and Linette if they wanna do it. i definitely need a better camera than the one i have now though. ah well. maybe i'll just borrow the school's one?
well, in the past 12 hours i've actually done quite a lot. i finished up all my overdue homework except for Lit and English.... which i hope to be able to do later when i get home. not forgetting that i will be working on Art later. i've also arranged everything i need to start prepping for mid years. and i'm already halfway through Social Studies. my god, even with my own notes it's till 18 pages for me to memorise. that's gonna be tough. i was looking through my timetable and the first week of exams, my major worries would be on physics, english and lit. the rest should be pretty okay i guess. i don't think i'm going to be expecting myself to excel too well for this examination. but i suppose i won't do too badly. though i know that i've missed a hellalot of lessons these past 3 days. i'm so screwed. i'm never gonna be able to catch up so much in one day. or one week even. once i go back to school later it's gonna be back to my rush hour routine. good luck to me.
Today will also mark my... 5th? consecutive parade that i've missed for band. not good.
tomorrow's also the Skill 3 SPA for Bio. am i prepared? definitely not. especially since i've done ZERO practices for Bio. crap. i hope Mr Ho can help me out later.
right now... everyone's having Math. they're probably going through sets. yet another topic where i have no clue what the hell is going on for. ah fudge.
signing off,
julian hallems.i'm so screwed.
you know, i've spent about the last 4 hours wondering about things.
i see so many people who are so sure of who they are and what kind of personality they have and how they're gonna be through their lives.
people who are able to give such well-thought out and such sound advice or even viewpoints on life that i sometimes think that will never be able to come from someone like myself.
people who have been, in my life, such an inspiration and such role models whom i look up to with great conviction.
i'm really wondering, what if i'm really not as clear about my personal self as i think i am?
question is, who am i to begin with? i have a silly online persona, i claim to have an alter ego like i'm some sort of psychopatic freak. who am i to give any inkling of sound advice?
this is so the wrong time to be questioning that. heh.
signing off,
still confused.
with great pride in my sense of sarcasm i shall announce that i officially have 7 pills to take every morning when i wake up and 7 pills to take before i go to sleep. and oh how i love shoving pills down my throat that cause me to go entirely delirious.
oh fuck illnesses and the pills that come with it. i think i've been shoving way too many pills down my throat already in these past 2 years. now apparently it's got to do with a throat infection. so the pills are there to reduce the redness? and force me into a comatic state for about 10 hours each time so i would actually stop moving about so much and actually sleep.
pfft. i hate feeling like a pig. though that'd mean i hate living for like, 70% of the time i'm awake? haha. ironic much.
anyways. i actually did something productive yesterday. i finally rearranged all my worksheets, files and books and whatever other crap i had into nice, neat, proper boxes. in a bid to somehow get me motivated to study now that everything is in nice order. i'm pretty proud of myself. it took about 3 movies long to provide me with the background noise i needed to work without feeling bored [i believe the movies were... dance of the dragon, ironman and spirited away. then i watched another cinderella story and house bunny because i needed to watch something braindead]. in other words, it took me about 6 full hours to rearrange everything. whoo. i should go take a picture. but i'm too lazy to get my camera. ah well.
i'm amazed at how much crap i actually have. the amount of paper that i'm actually throwing away goes up to my knee level. which is really amazing. oh and the initial pile was around my waist? well i was smsing chitty last night, and i realised that i actually missed the whole EZlink card replacement thingamajig. which is probably gonna cause me to have a lot of trouble because i'll probably have to go down to the stations myself and make the change to that ugly-looking new card, while they take away the card that's gone through so much over the past 4 years in my wallet. it's been in the washing machine, it's been in the pool at least 3 times. it's been in mud, been chewed by my dog. sigh, i'll miss that card.
well while i sit here having my mind rot away by the second, this blog is probably the only thing that's keeping me in touch with my sanity. though while i write this, i still don't think i'm actually that sane since the medicine's beginning to kick in and my vision has begun to get blurrer. sign for me to either sleep or get to work on math. that's the first topic i shall be focussing on for the mid years since math is pretty much easy for me to study.
then i need to work a hell a lot on physics. then chem, then biology. oh and SS too! well social studies should be easier since i already have all my notes done up since last year's and this year's tests. so i have an entire compilation of notes of the sec 3 text. which could very well save my butt. I need to start work on Art too. especially since i've changed the entire direction. i'll probably try to do that later tonight? we'll see. for now i'm gonna go shower, and bring out my pretty little box of math worksheets and sort them according to topic. lalala.
signing off,
the-still-not-quite-sane
julian hallems.ladeeda.
status: forging war within my body
VIRUS VS SOMETHING-ELSE-THAT'S-IN-MY-BODY-FIGHTING-THE-VIRUS-BECAUSE-IT-SEEMS-MY-WHITE-BLOOD-CELLS-ARE-NOT-WORKING-TOO-WELL-AFTER-ALLwas just wondering out of utter randomness, including the fact that in the last 7 hours i've done nothing but eat, swallow like, 5 pills and then sleep. it's quite an irritating routine to notice, what would actually happen if this virus isn't just some normal flu? what if it's like psychological problem? shit, i don't want to be put under some weird rehabilitation program. or what if it's a bloody big medical condition and i'm given a time quota of how long more i can live? shit, i don't want to die! then again, maybe dying would be a good thing to all of you out there who supremely hate my guts, much as i try to be nice to you, you give me another reason why i shouldn't even bother. ah well, the bible says that we should forgive our brother seventy times seven times over. well i hope i get forgiven sometime soon too. though i don't even know what the hell i did to make them pissed off with me. ah well. i'm glad i managed to reconcile with oliver though, and yustynn too. though now i don't actually talk to them that much.
i bought a notebook the other day. plan on using it for writing my random thoughts and one liners so that i won't forget it. i think it's really quite fun to write a lot of random shizz. i can't doodle, but i always have some peculiar phrase in my head so this should help. considering that i need to come up with my portfolio for the goh sin tub literary award and also for mrs cheng to mark and see whether or not my language skills are really even all that great. i mean you can have a flare for writing, but when it comes down to it, your language skills count the most right?
ok i just realised i have been rambling for a really long time and i should stop now. surprisingly enough, this has only taken me 2 full minutes to type out. coolios. maybe my typing skills have become totally awesome and i can now type like at god speed. WHOOSH.
[i apologise for the extreme randomness. medicine that makes you drowsy does things to you. fuzzy vision sensitive to light and the constant feeling like you're floating on a cloud because the medicine's trying to make you sleep and whatever else it does. bleah.]
sometimes, maybe there is some sense in solidarity
signing off,
julian hallems.lalalalallalalalalallaldeedaldladadada HAHAHAHAHHA. i'm delirious.
because it's exactly the bitchy british pop music i need to hear right about now.
i especially love the 8th track "fuck you"
freedom is a topic that's so controversial, how's Friar going to teach it?
if freedom is having the choice to make a choice, then life is ruled my choices, so there isn't really any freedom that way isn't it? freedom and choice aren't the same thing. so how's that going to work?
on another note, you know what, i'm really exhausted.
stop scowling at me just because i don't turn up as often as you'd wish me to. don't scold me for being true to the way i am. don't think that just because you're gonna be acting that way towards me i'm going to give in to your ridiculous expectations.
for the record, my life is not going to be about band. i refuse to let it be so. so get off my back.
really, that's going a little bit too far. it's a cca, not a living. reality check, please. i'm not going to leave this school losing sight of who i am or who i could have been just because some silly frivolous people decided for me what my priorities should be.
people have been telling me to cut down on my commitments. i'm doing one right now. live with it.
signing off,
julian hallems. the bitch is back.
first, if people are actually still reading this blog, thank you for bothering. this blog is still going to be alive, but it won't be the same person who types in it. this layout? thanks ernest. it's a temporary layout for now. there will be no more tagboard, no more links, no more profile and whatever other bullcrap there used to be.
confused? good.
i think i'm beginning to feel things i never would have felt much about before. my blog is no longer going to be some commercial bullshit where whatever i type has to be screened by some outsider who's going to eventually feel insulted about something i type and i suddenly have to find that i should censor every damn word i write. you know what, if i do that, then there's no more reason for me to even keep this blog. yeah, censorship, keep on capping my free will and creativity won't you.
my blog used to be a center for the soddy sob stories of my personal life. and maybe that's where i went wrong. so from now on, that's going to change. by the way, if you happen to find this bunch of rambling completely incomprehensible and incoherent, i apologise, i am sick and the medicine is playing tricks on my head. but no matter, this, i am very clear about. it's time for independence and it's time for a change. no more cutesy little glen, no more emo fuck glen. it's time to me to discover myself.
get on with the programme won't you.
if course, if you know me in real life, i won't have seemed to have changed in your eyes.
confused still? even better.
you know you still love me. signing off,
julian hallems.who needs to really know who i am?
GOLD with HONOURS.
now, we can brag.
