ok, obviously, i shouldn't really be here typing. i should be getting on to doing my homework i owe from the CNY holidays. but then again, it's me, since when do i not procrastinate?
i've decided to begin revision for O Levels this friday. let's go study machine! i need to revise all my sec 3 work again, so i'm gonna try to get a headstart on that...
well, i'm sorry i can't give a nice post on what's actually going on in my head lately, and why i've been distracted and eventually dozing off in class all the time. there's a reason, not a very good one, but a reason all the same i suppose.
you can't play on broken strings, you can't feel anything...
signing off,
julian hallems
a little too not over you
by David Archuleta
It never crossed my mind at all
That's what i tell myself
What we had has come and gone
You're better off with someone else
It's for the best, i know it is
But i see you
Sometimes i try to hide
What i feel inside
And i turn around
You're with him now
I just can't figure it out
Tell me why
You're so hard to forget
Don't remind me
I'm not over it
Tell me why
I can't seem to face the truth
I'm just a little too not over you
Not over you
Memories
Supposed to fade
What's wrong with my heart?
Shake it off, let it go
Didn't think it be this hard
Should be strong
Moving on
But i see you
Sometimes i try to hide
What i feel inside
And i turn around
You're with him now
I just can't figure it out
Tell me why
You're so hard to forget
Don't remind me
I'm not over it
Tell me why
I can't seem to face the truth
I'm just a little too not over you
Maybe i regret
Everything i said
No way to take it all back, yeah
Now i'm on my own
How i let you go
I'll never understand
I'll never understand
Yeah, oooh, oooh, oooh
Oooooooh
Oh
Ooooh, oh
Tell me why
You're so hard to forget
Don't remind me
I'm not over it
Tell me why
I can't seem to face the truth
I'm just a little too not over you
Tell me why
You're so hard to forget
Don't remind me
I'm not over it
Tell me why
I can't seem to face the truth
And i really don't know what to do
I'm just a little too not over you
Not over you
and it's songs like these that make me cry. dammit.
oh, insufferable little bitches aren't you?
don't pull your bullshit here with me, faggot.
i'm not taking this with a fake smile plastered on my face. i don't want to see your faces, i don't want to eat at the same table as you, i'm ashamed to be called catholic alongside you.
so go and have yourselves a very happy chinese new year.
and please, stop pretending to be cool in front of me, pulling your bullshit sarcasm to my face when i know what you do behind my family's back.
hypocritical bastards.
you do something to one of my family members, you incur my wrath. and trust me, for this? your family will NEVER be forgiven. as long as i shall live, i will live with this intense hatred. though i may not be showing it too obviously yet, and i emphasise on "yet", believe me, your bullshit is plastered on your faces, you can't hide it.
to everyone else who's not involved with this post,
happy chinese new year.
you know, i haven't felt like this in a long time. and now that i'm feeling it, it really kinda sucks. because all of a sudden i feel like crying all over again. i don't want to feel like this. i don't want to feel like as though my life is so screwed up. i don't want to keep feeling like i'm alone, like i have no one to turn to. i'm sorry for sounding so much like a petty little kid here being selfish and all just talking about myself and everything even though my problems to most would be really quite mild. However i really needed to sort some things out in my head.
I'm beginning to get the feeling like i'm losing all my friends and i don't really know why. Because i'm still being the overbearing bitch i try not to be? because i stepped on too many toes? made too many mistakes? i just wish i knew why i'm feeling like this. i'm on my brink again. is it the stress?
i don't know. but i'm really feeling quite useless right now. i want to cry though i know i shouldn't. i want to release myself where no one can see but where? i want to sit by and do nothing. i want to die.
if you hate me too. please tell me.
i don't actually know how i'm supposed to be feeling right now. I've been feeling pretty tiresome lately. i'm also beginning to really hate going to school all over again. It's getting to feel like I'm some new kid in school that everyone loves to hate. No idea whether or not to feel angry or lonesome.
heyo everyone. this blog will be on hiatus until i find the time to sort out the entire layout.
i plan to open up like,a homepage like thing. still working on the image.
so you may ignore this blog for now. i'll be back when it's done.
meanwhile. a little, reminisence of Ivan's birthday for me to laugh at.
this is by far my FAVOURITE picture.
hello orgasm-face! :D
btw, the person hugging him was me, but that's not the point.
well it's the new year!
and as much as i know that no one looks at this blog right now. i'll still blog! i'm working on 3 skins now. but i can't find the time to work on it. i needa pick up photoshop and my horn again. this is hard.
but oh well. new year, new blog, new opportunities!
hello orgasm-face! :D